rituals. as humans we naturally create many, as we are seriously creatures of habit, this is one of the few ‘sayings’ in life that are true. how we get up in the morning, how we go to work, the music we listen to, the men we’re attracted to, the wine we order, the restaurants we visit. these habits, or rituals, are ones that we’ve subconsciously created to keep us comfortable, safe. to allow us the false sense of control that every single one of us craves. and so that we can, for the most part, go through life smoothly + from a place of enjoyment.
or so we believe.
this week, i went to a baseball game with my husband. it was a special experience, mostly because this wasn’t something that we’d normally do on a wednesday night. we almost became different people while not in our normal habitat. we both felt happier. we both felt alive. i immediately drew a contrast between our normal wednesday night + the one we were having. for one, we were outside. it’s amazing what fresh air will do for your life, even if you’re at a baseball stadium. second, this was a place where dancing spontaneously was being celebrated, some people were even winning things for their dancing. and third, even though we ate like crap, something that isn’t apart of our normal ritual, we didn’t experience any aches or digestive discomfort.
what does this mean?
it was the perfect example of how the rituals we create to keep us safe are actually keeping us from living fully in the moment. do you remember what you did last tuesday, completely? do you remember what you ate? i for one don’t, + i don’t believe that we have to fully remember every moment of every day, but i do believe we should all have more days like i had this past wednesday. where we are doing whatever it is that makes us feel so comfortable, so happy, so full of joy – that we forget we’re adults, and break out into a dance in public.
so, what rituals do you currently have that aren’t adding any joy to your life? it may even be something you believe to be completely important, like reading the newspaper or watching the news. you may have even turned the relaxing task of a bath into something your nervous system doesn’t even recognize as relaxing anymore, but just something you do on thursday nights. here’s the good news, we have complete power + authority to change anything that isn’t working. it’s scary, it takes presence + thought, but it’s oh so worth it. and although it may be all of the things i just named (i.e. scary) it can be super easy. something as simple as a new salad dressing, or a whole new meal when you usually eat the same thing everyday. do you normally wear blue to work? wear red and see how you feel. do you normally only date a certain kind of guy? date a different kind and see what comes forward.
yes, it’s really just an experiment.
because we create a life we believe we love + then we go and do something relatively normal (like go to a baseball game) + realize we’ve been missing a huge ‘spark’ in our everyday lives. this doesn’t mean you have to splurge on baseball tickets to feel alive. but it is meant for all of us to look at how comfortable we get in the mundane sameness of life, that keeps the days flying by and begs the question of how we missed an entire week and can’t remember what happened.
we all deserve to have a ‘spark’ or two every month, every week, every day if we make it a priority.
so let’s look at our rituals + make a conscious choice to say, we’re worth more than the same ol’ thing every day. let’s spice it up.