As humans, we all feel like we have done all that we must do in the self-love arena and when it comes back up as something we need to work on, we’re utterly confused. How can I not love myself? How can I not have my power? Why does self-love have to be something that makes me powerful or takes power? If I were a man this would be different….or many other things that come to mind. What self-love feels like to each of us is completely different and individual. And being able to love who we are first and foremost is something that gives us ultimate power and authority over ourselves which empowers us to make the right decisions, in all areas of our lives for us.
There is nothing more powerful than loving who you are. Nothing. But that often isn’t the story we tell ourselves. Often, we think that if we could just find the love of our lives, then we can truly feel like we’re sitting firmly in our power. Or if we could just be recognized by our employers, then we can truly feel like we have power of our hearts and minds. But it is loving who we are that is the portal to all of the things we want in our lives.
I know this can feel like bullsh*t. It can feel impossible. It can feel like you’re on this long journey to a destination and someone has given you the wrong map. But I want you to know how much control you have over regaining your power, changing directions, buying a new map, turning on your GPS. We are often stuck in a place that we have control over leaving, but we feel so stuck.
And why do we feel stuck? For so many reasons. But one of the main reasons being that we don’t put ourselves first. If you look at your life and the way that it is today, you probably have a plethora of obligations ranging from things with friends, family, your children, intimate relationships, your job, etc. Where do you fit in? Where are you allowing yourself to come in last?
And this isn’t remotely easy. It takes so much work to put ourselves first, as many of us have never even seen someone (specifically a woman) saying NO to obligations so that they can ensure that they can manage all of the things they absolutely have to do while simultaneously taking care of themselves. But here’s the cool thing – you can be the first woman you know to do it.
Here’s what it takes to get started:
Support – This isn’t going to be easy. Whether it’s your therapist, a friend (who has already done her work or is in the process of doing this same work), a Coach (click here for help from me), or your partner – you’ll need help and reassurance that you’re doing the right thing. Why? Because as easy as it can seem, saying no can be very hard and feel very wrong.
Kindness – Not everyone is going to be on board with the new you, especially YOU! So it’s going to be so important to be kind to yourself throughout this and allow yourself to feel how you feel while also navigating what you need to feel comfortable.
Routine – What is going to help you feel comfortable doing all of this? A routine that feels good to you! Maybe its waking up before everyone and enjoying coffee or tea, or going for a run in the evening, or signing up for a yoga class each Sunday, or meal-prepping. It’s so important to look at what your current life is like and then create a routine that will help you (My Guidebook helps you with this as well, Check it Out).
What does Self-Love look like to you? Be as honest with yourself as you can and speak it out loud or on paper. Does your life match this, and if not, how can you make changes to get there? This won’t be an overnight thing, but a start is a start. Let’s claim our power back, and put our love first.