Have you ever stopped to wonder why we push so hard to make things happen? Why we believe life is hard, love is hard, + you really must work as hard as you can to receive anything good? Or, I’ve found, it’s the opposite + we’ve wired ourselves to believe that if we don’t get things easily, relationships, jobs, etc., then that also means it isn’t really for us. All or nothing believing. And trust me, I’m working these same things out within myself all the time, trying to understand where this wiring came from – genetically, energetically, ancestrally, experientially. But when it comes to surrendering, to growing, to thresholds, why is it such a hard thing for us to sit with? Why is it so hard for us to allow the Divine into our lives to truly assist us in manifesting what we want + what’s for us?
Well…. I believe there are a few reasons …
we don’t believe God has time for us (i mean we’ve screwed up too many times anyway)
There are wars happening everywhere. Women and children are starving. The economy isn’t as good as it should be. So, who am I to ask God for help with finding a new job when there are much bigger problems going on?
I probably spent a good 4 or 5 months in therapy just on this alone. The true understanding of comparative suffering and how I’d done it my whole life. And I continue to learn + understand why we, especially women and especially people with “first world problems” believe that we must suffer in our lives.
We feel that we have so many things that others don’t have, so who are we to commune with God for more. I have a meal and someone is starving, so I should just be happy with my boyfriend who cheats. Our ego has a way of making us believe that we can’t get away from the things in our lives that keep us small without compromising someone else’s happiness. As if Heaven is a concert and God only has so many tickets. It’s truly limited thinking and it’s so common that it’s hard for us to pick up on if we aren’t paying attention.
But truly, for more light to come into this world, I believe we must begin to believe that God most definitely wants more for us. So that we can be filled up…and have room to give in the places we’re here to serve.
we’re somehow flawed beyond repair, and therefore can no longer connect to Divinity
Sometimes, when we connect with God, or the Divine, or the Universe…we expect it to come in and sound and feel a certain way + when it doesn’t we miss the call, sometimes for a long time. We miss the call not because it never came, but because when the call came in we didn’t recognize it. Imagine you order a blue shirt from the Gap. The box that it comes in which is delivered to your house says another stores name on the outside. But when you open the box the blue shirt you ordered from the Gap is there. It has the tag on it that says it’s from the Gap + it also has the receipt showing that it was sent from the Gap. But because the method in which the shirt was delivered didn’t look like what you were expecting, you neglect to believe it came from the Gap.
We then begin to believe that because of all the “mistakes” we’ve made, or lies we’ve told, or people we’ve hurt that we are no longer worthy of God’s love. And so, we decide to stop asking, to stop looking, and begin working hard to make it all happen ourselves. Instead of realizing that we are getting messages from God, instead of seeing how the Divine is always in us and with us, we stay stuck with our story of how the information looked to us and decide that not only could it not be God trying to reach us but we also decide that it’s not the Divine trying to reach us because we are the problem. That we aren’t worthy of God’s love.
But, there is honestly nothing we could do to remove ourselves from grace, from forgiveness, from love.
we are so afraid to relinquish control, even to the Divine, we’d rather push and fight and pull
I mean, as perfectionist (hello my name is Yasmine, and I’m in recovery from perfectionism), independent, educated, financially sound women, we get a lot of shit done, and we really do it well. So sometimes, we get so caught up in our doing, in our certifications, in our resumes, in our pursuit to make our lives exactly as we believe they should be, that we push ourselves and push everyone and everything around us in the direction that we believe will make everything work. In our desire to control our lives and make them abundant, joyful, soulful…we move into go mode and circumvent the Divine’s ability to really move into our lives. Instead, we end up depleted, exhausted, + so far from the potential that is available to us.
And there are many times we’ll look back and think whoa, why didn’t God see that + stop me? All I do know is, we have free will to listen and follow the Divine or not. So, it is up to us to focus on being open to receive and learning to surrender our worries, fears, + concerns so that we can receive the answers we’ve been waiting for. We must learn to realize that we don’t have to force, make, control, or perfect. That in perfect timing, all that we desire is already ours.
we have never seen surrender modeled before us
Maybe everyone in our family was a go-getter like us + we’ve grown to believe that the only way to get what you want is to move fast, quick, and precisely. Or we grew up with “lazy” family members + grew to see surrender as giving up. Or maybe we took God’s meaning of “taking action” as a call to mean that we must make it happen all by ourselves.
What I do know is that our action is meant to be intentional divinely lead action, that we should trust in where we are being led by God, that we know our discernment is assisted by God, angels, guides, and our own higher self aka our souls. Our souls, the part of us that return to the heavens, the universe, to God.
Surrender is not what it sounds like. For me, it used to sound like fear, giving up, lack of a plan. It felt and sounded like everything I proclaimed not to be. It felt like weakness.
What I wasn’t present to, of which I’m very present to now, is that I really wasn’t in control of much. I was exhausted, depleted, and lethargic. I was holding on by threads. I wasn’t present to Divine wisdom, because I wasn’t listening, it surely wasn’t because God wasn’t speaking to me. It surely wasn’t because I was no longer worthy. And that’s not the truth for you either.
And I’ve learned to be gentler with my humanness + truly believe. Because I know that all the Divine wants for me is for the most + highest good to come to fruition in my life.
So, I sit into the discomfort of what surrender is when its new to you. Just like when you step into a brand-new pair of beautifully made shoes, there is some breaking in that must take place. But because the shoes are so well made, after a few wears, it feels like your floating. You want to wear them all the time. And I believe that after experiencing the glory of what life is when you allow Divinity in, you’ll also want to wear it all the time.
Also, this is not about religion. I believe we can access God with or without a denomination. This is about our spirituality, our connection, & our growth. Our personal relationship. All of which can grow exponentially with assistance that’s waiting for us. So, in speaking to our higher selves, or our guides, or angels, or God, or the Universe, or whatever you believe – know that we open ourselves to our truth at the purest form. And we begin to break through the thresholds that formally held us back.