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Boundaries, Codependency, Dating, Marriage, Motherhood, Jobs, Mental Health. I talk about it all here. Visit the journal.

My goal is to create conversations that spark a sense of discovery within each woman I meet. I created this self-healing space to help women grow. So that women feel liberated and empowered to choose themselves and what matters to them.

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  • when it comes to romantic partnerships, it’s always so interesting to explore the deep stories we have about how the other side must is living because of their circumstances. and honestly, we’re really experiencing many of the same feelings - just from very different perspectives.  seeing how alike we are helps us to feel more empathy for each other and much less of this:::
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“well at least you have a partner for Valentine’s Day” .
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or
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“When your partnered Valentine’s Day isn’t as fun as when you’re dating”
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or whatever that version means for you. overall, understanding each other better helps us to see each other, and that’s the goal. .
ps. i’m channeling @lisaoliveratherapy with this Venn diagram - if you don’t know her, get to know her.
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hope this helps you close out this self - love week with more awareness and clarity of what love (and specifically self-love) means to you.
  • A quick chat about a different way to approach discomfort & change while doing your work instead of looking for the arrival point.
  • everyone’s version of the truth is different + when people ask us for our truth for them - sometimes we reflect what is truth + not their version of truth.
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not everyone wants reality - or our version of it for them, even when they ask (which is the permission we seek when giving advice!). and it is not our role to codependently figure out what people really mean when they ask us advice or for reflections. but what we can do is sharpen our discernment by looking at the truth for us, and feeling into what we feel we’re really being asked for. are we being asked to help them confirm their story? are we being asked to co-conspire in confirming the untruths they’re living? are we being asked to say that’s it’s not a big deal when for us it is and we’re concerned? and when it feels like an unhonest ask or for lack of a better term ‘a set up’ we can say no. because this no is a firm boundary to signing up to allow others to role play their projections of victimization on to us. and this is not saying no to supporting those we care about, instead, it’s saying yes to healthy boundaries. x
  • learning how to love ourselves helps us have the capacity to open ourselves to healthy + loving relationships where we aren’t only the givers or receivers.
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we learn that love actually shows up in ways that are very different than the ways we’ve dreamed it up or tried to enlist people to provide for us. .
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love is often based on our realistic communicated needs with the emotional and energetic needs of all parties concerned. it’s not only about what makes us feel safe (ie receiving text messages from our partner all day even when they’re busy) it’s about learning that through self-love we can honor our needs and then make space for what external love really looks like for us - based on truth.
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for me, although i love candles + candy + flowers (like i love receiving them) i chose to drop my attachment to what i felt that having those things - on my birthday or a day like today - meant to my actual worth. i often felt without them that i was faking my happiness, because everyone wants a proper valentine right? but we get to discern, decide, and feel into the definitions of all things for ourselves - and when we take ourselves out of what we’ve been told love is and walk it for ourselves we can begin a self-love practice that aligns with what we really want.
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x
  • i’ll say it a million times ::: it’s in you

"The more we tune into our inner voice, the louder + clearer it gets. We become more confident + able to stand firm in our truth, when we speak our internal language."

— YASMINE CHEYENNE